I'm Anthony, I'm nearly at the prime of my life but it's hurting me and that's okay. It gives me a reason to savor my days as if they were my last. I am an amateur gentleman and very semi-confident of myself.
Me: *playing Tomb Raider*
Grandmother who is visiting for the weekend: Mind if I sit with you?
Me: *squirming slightly because there is gore and swearing in this game and my grandmother is a sweet old lady: Um, if you want to.
Grandmother: *sits* Thank you, dear.
Me: *continuing to play for about five minutes*
Grandmother: LOOK OUT THERE ARE THREE COMING DOWN THE HILL
Grandmother: THAT WAS POINT BLANK HOW ARE THEY ALIVE
Grandmother: OOOHH YOU MADE THAT EXPLODE
Grandmother: STOP KILLING MY GRANDDAUGHTER
Grandmother: KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL
Grandmother: OHHHHH YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD OHHHHHHHHH
Grandmother: RUN RUN RUN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE RUN
Grandmother: OKAY NOW KILL THEM ALL
Me: *slowly turns to look at her* Grandma
Grandmother: *sweet smile* Hmm?
Me: Grandma oh my god
Grandmother: *more smiling* Well, hurry up and kill everyone else, I want to see you save this Sam person.
Grandmother: Kill them.
today i sprained my foot in the worse way possible. i slipped on a yugioh card in my room (a bunch actually since i was sorting them). this is it. yugioh will be the death of me
update: it turns out i didn’t twist/sprain my foot. we went to the nurses and i had fractured it appparently. duel monsters broke my foot. yugioh broke my foot. yugioh ruined my life (here’s a picture of the cast)
Somehow playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”
Right now. Right this moment. Even casually. I want to see how many people will be here for the upd8.
Hell, even if you just plan on reading it.